She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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