State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
