Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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