well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
