so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
