i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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