Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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