after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she peed on how many people?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
