Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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