i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
