why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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