My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
