Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
