Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
