i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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