is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
