So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
