Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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