is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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