what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
