he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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