All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
