I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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