Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Randomize
