I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
