We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
