We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
