Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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