GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my being single is dangerous.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
