i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
