i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sorry my hands just texted you
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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