Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
