Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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