Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
