So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
