Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
