I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
