Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
