Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
