I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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