I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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