Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
