She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
