Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
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