I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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