let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
