I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
