i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
