Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
