is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
