I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
