So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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