I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
A+ Viking dick
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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