he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
